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24seven_tassie.blogspot.com for my last 5 days happenings!

cheers!

pissed. peeved. all rolled into one.
i used to think that printing is a job for idiots, i mean its that simple, click on the print button, insert the paper .. and wala ... the rest is history.
until today, when i realised that we cant take printers for granted. i was about to print my 20page report. superbly illustrated with fantastic photographs and images on my fabulous canon printer when ,,, all hell broke lose and i ended up with a Huge Rim of incorrectly printed-soon-to-be discarded papers.
no idea whats wrond with the darn machine. maybe its just myself? increasing in my levels of spastic tendancies. first signs of retardation: inability to execute printing from a simple-user-friendly Windows document. *darn! *darn *darn!

anyhow, i thank heavens that i managed to crack the code. it seems i cant print in the BEST quality. having the BEST quality would mean myself ending up with half printed pgs( i guess i chopped a few trees down due to my assignment). its sabbath today. and i didnt get rollin to church. *bad badtz moi!

dear stalkers,

i have documented my latest happenings, saves you guys a heap lot of trouble.
*rialto towers where some private bash was on.
*stokers for pancakes, ivanhoe
*indonesian food, chapel street
*sanity, chapel street
*victoria street, viet food ( restaurant's fabulous, but the name's a tad bit tacky for me.
*cafe sonex, king street
*melbourne uni, in the company of motley mates

thats all for now, keep ya updated!

*peace

darn. my muscles are aching. it seems like i have aged. i believe i had a tad bit overdose of zzz. i slept for 8 hrs last night. the usual for most blokes, but a luxury for me. and now, i am tasting the aftermath! damn. just have to run more, stretch more and sleep less.

anyway, i bumped into someone yesterday. and i was empathetic to the chance meeting. what do u call a serendipity which u wished had never surfaced? surrendipity? (*chuckles) anyhow, it was just awkward, and totally uncalled for. if you are reading this, and u reckon u met moi yesterday and u trust that this is for you, then good on ya! read on , one word of caution, i meet heaps of people in a day and it may just not be you. but if u think u fit the bill, then so be it!

you asked if i every bother. if i ever wanna know the happenings. i said i was always the dude in a nutcase. i keep myself in the shell, i find no need to know everything. i used to ponder about the going ons. i used to wanna know everything. real time. now, even retarded time news, i arent interested. do u show concern just by knowing everything under the sun about someone else. NO! not to me at least. i could be the silent observer. knowing that something's not right when i sense something wrong. sometimes the simple act of not talking, not probing is fabulous and disguistingly therapeutic. i guess u dont know that!

you just babble things. what do u want me to do. find out how many litres of water u have drank. the amount of air u have breathed in. the strands of hair u dropped daily? i dont give a damn. but i do cherish the past. i do cherish the times we spent. rest assure that the company is in my mind, its just way below, deeply embedded.

ponder on, i did tried to fix things up. but reflect on who are the dudes that didnt had time to mingle with me. i felt as though i was intruding. i felt as though i shldnt be disturbing, bothering. and now, fingers are mirrored and pointed at moi. thank heavens :: i realised :: i shun :: the un(seen) the un(heard) the in(visible) comp(any)

insensitivity is the latest accessory! wear it.

there is a case in nigeria where, under islamic law, a 30 year old woman faces death from stoning as a result of giving birth out of wedlock.
please visit amnesty international's site to sign a letter of protest that will be sent to the president of nigeria and will hopefully save this woman's life.

www.mertonai.org/amina

thanks you.

yea. i know that. you guys need the daily dose of my blogs. and i have been on sabatical. as i said, a sabatical, not a hiatus. gotit? would be m.i.a for a week or so cos i would be throwing cash to get attached with nature. ponders how much we spend jus to get ourselves attuned to what our ancestors have taken granted for. have a couple more submissions. i hate detest and loathe these remaining assignments. all the pragmatics and mechanicals are driving me nuts. but no matter what, the academic cycle gives me no back alley to escape from the things i detest. i just have to find my way thru the pests.

my uni mate jus told be how screwed up his new gal was. this is pretty funny and i have sought my dear frd's approval before publishing this to all. no worries to the rest. your darkest secrets are pretty safe with me. on second thoughts, i cant get that crap on writing. its too hilarious but offensive as well. might have to have those buttons with disclaimers that only allow 18 and above to enter. and you would have to be cool bout vulgarity ... trashy ... dishy ... rauchy .. and non-conservative crap. betta not publish that. i have made up my mind. i m gonna keep mum.

hah .. oxymorons. .. my mom doesnt keep mum.

Humanity is becoming more and more enthralled by spectacle. In this condition, it is no longer the 19th-century regime of the true that dominates, but the regime of spectacle.We live in a schizophrenic situation where the dominant reality is concealed behind an extremely visible and ostensibly liberal pseudo-reality.

All new sports - surfing, wind-surfing, delta-wing flying...- are of the type 'meshing into an existing wave'. That means no longer having a source of effort as the starting point, but a way of coming into a trajectory. The way you allow yourself to be swept up in the motion of a big wave or of a rising column of air, 'arriving between' instead of being the origin of the effort, that is fundamental.Reflexivity breaks with art as enchantment and calls attention to the factitiousness of its own constructs.

tats right. i finally returned together with my motley group of revenants. sort of gotten over the loss of my friend so i dun need all the mollycoddle you guys have been showering on. thanks though for the calls, icq aol msn msgs , emails ... some dude thinks that public transport is too infra dig for him. change ur mind sets people.

its a couple of hours away from sept 11 here in australia. prayin that what happened wouldnt be a vanguard for any future nonsense.

i said i would compose myself. i said i would try to shed tears in bed. i said i would keep you in my heart. i said i would let you rest in peace. i said i would think sensibly. i said i would get over the loss. i said it would sound simple, but its not easy, and yes it does. i still cant fathom someone so close to me leaving my presence that abruptly. i still cant fathom why someone that great would be called to another place. i still cant fathom why it has to be you. i still ponder if things might have changed if i had called you that faithful day. things i regret. things i ponder. things i grief over. things i shudder. truth's still unchanged. you have left for good.

there are just heaps of things left unsaid. its like a phone conversation ended early. abruptly. all i hear is the ringing tone. you will be offline forever. you will be online 24-7 in my heart. everything i turn to are reminiscenses of you. your shirt's with me. your gifts i treasure. your notes and cards for me, i will treasure for eternity. its awkward how things changes, how perceptions are moulded when something unexpected churns up. you have taught me alot. you have chastened my heart. the lessons were painful but the void you left pains me more.

i got the news from nick a day late. nigel rang and spoke in splatters. sandi dropped a couple of emails. all different approaches but the same devastating news. i wish i could send my dear friend off. i wished i could see you for the last time at least. wishes dont always come true. out of the 5, the 3 are present. leaving me, lighting a candle, murmuring a silent wish and prayer that you would continue being the man you have always been. missing you. "04 Sept 2002.

there will be a sadness and a void.
there will be silence in conversations.
there will be flashback images.
there will be YOU in our midst always.

there will be cries.
there will be griefs.
i wish i could
i wish i might
see you off mate for the last time

i tried to search
i tried to fathom
the deepest secrets between us
i know that you
have brought them to the grave

i know we once talked bout this
laughly chucklingly i said i would attend your funeral
i failed to at this moment in time

life is a vicious cycle
death is part of life
but not the end as we all know
death marks the beginning of a new lease of challenges

you said the song you wanted to play in your funeral was
better man
that is playing in the background
a tribute to YOU
you have been the best you could have been
seriously i miss you so much

the sadness and void are evident. but i am not afraid of death. i m not afraid to die. but i dont want to die now. just yet.

andi. you were special in a unique way. remembering you always.

tats right. one of my frd passed away. he was 23. he did live life to the fullest. thats what counts. but still the world will mourn, tears will drop. eyes will turn red. dreams get shattered. people still remain paranoid. people turn neurotic. peoples are a funny lot.

silence sits between us. i begin to wonder if this is a good idea after all. we look at each other, its like the first time we have ever seen each other. I have never met him. At least when he was alive. I have seen him. But havent sat down with him. I feel funny. Weird. Strange. there we were. in an MX5. silence was broken by his chatters. i hear him say things i know. i hear him say things i like. i hear him say the skies are blue. i hear him say the grasses are green. i saw his eyes. they looked different. yet in an engimatic way, they bring with them a nostagia. reminiscenses of the past, i dont remember. he just had to do it. he just had to come into my dreams. he just had to remind me that he's always around. i know that you are somewhere there. i know your presence. i know my thoughts. i just dont comprehend them. i know you hold your peace. i know many things. knowing and believing are different. i need you to believe in me and continue holding your peace.

i made a sculpture today
i took the hot wax
i poured it on the mould
i waited for it to cool

i followed what my mentor said
i took the steps he prescribed

i picked up the piece of flat wax
i carefully sculpted out an object

my object speaks of grief
my object tells of killings
physical and emotional
my object i spent ages fondling
my object i spent all my might
my object i concentrated on
my object i desire

but i know i would not be able to carry my object with me when i want to flee
i cant even pick up photos, that i hold so closely to
i cant even pick up my brothers and sisters
i hold on to a knife
i hold on to a drink can
i hold on to my nana
the one so close to my heart

food becomes more than a word
it is a four letter word beginning with F
i lack that

a refugee. thats what my object spells of.
refugees
so threatened but not a threat.

*peace

when i speak of ships, others think of shipwreckage
i, however, think of wind-inflated structures

when i speak of eagles, others think of soaring birds
i, however, think of the wing span

when i speak of whales, others think of saurians
i, however, think of 30tons of flying weight

when i speak of black pathers, others think of predatory animals,
i, however think of the untamed wildness

when i speak to you
your thoughts move faster than hands to grasp it.

death in white sheets
death in tiled hospital floors
death on the pavements
path of a bullet thru a dealer's head on 42nd street
peep-show sex in washable plastic boxes

the frames of desolation

savoir faire*