Monday, May 26, 2003

Do not be overly critical. It is much more important to be sensible.
To know more than is necessary blunts your weapons,
for fine points generally bend or break.
Commonsense truth is the surest.
It is well to know but not to niggle.
Lengthy comment leads to disputes.
It is much better to have sound sense,
which does not wander from the matter in hand.

Do not go with the latest speaker.
There are people who go by the latest things they have heard and thereby go to irrational extremes.
Their feelings and desires are made of wax;
the last comer stamps them with his seal and obliterates all previous impressions.
These people never gain anything, for they lose everything so soon.
Everyone dyes them with his own color. They are of no use as confidants;
they remain children their whole life.
Owing to this instability of feeling and volition,
they stumble along, crippled in will and thought,
tottering from one side of the road to the other.
I happen to spot them along the way.
And this piece, i am dedicating to
you.

*hope & love

Saturday, May 24, 2003

What hides under the spectacular oppositions is a unity of misery. Behind the masks of total choice, different forms of the same alienation confront each other, all of them built on real contradictions which are repressed. The spectacle exists in a concentrated or a diffuse form depending on the necessities of the particular stage of misery which it denies and supports. In both cases, the spectacle is nothing more than an image of happy unification surrounded by desolation and fear at the tranquil center of misery.

guy debord,The Society of the Spectacle
*peace

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

dear: mouth & eyes

Even if you cannot shape your life as you want it,
at least try this
as much as you can; do not debase it
in excessive contact with the world,
in the excessive movements and talk.

Do not debase it by taking it,
dragging it often and exposing it
to the daily folly
of relationships and associations,
until it becomes burdensome as an alien life.

Why does your soul cries out endlessly
in anticipation of being in the crowd
in retaliation we stray from you
we mock behind closed doors
we bitch behind those shut windows
we seal our lips
when we see you
you were nice. now all that lies are words that hurt.
innocently they were executed
indefinately, i run from you.

Monday, May 19, 2003

5 shots of the rainbow.
but none.
tells of the awe of the moment.
like an artist. raged. and aged.
armed with a brush and paint.
bold strokes of colours streaked across the overcast skies.
escalation lasted 10seconds.
yells 4 seconds.
rainbow 20 seconds.
but a lasting impression and lesson.
the possibility of seeing bright colours on an overcast gloomy face.

Sunday, May 18, 2003

Don't get so busy that you miss
Giving just a little kiss
To the ones you love
Don't even wait a little while
To give them just a little smile
A little is enough
See how many people are crying
Some people are dying
How many people are asking for love
Find a way
to give a little love every day
Don't save it all for Christmas day
Find a way
'Cause holidays have come and gone
But love lives on
If you give on
Love
How could you wait another minute
A hug is warmer when you're in it
Oh, baby that's a fact
And saying I love you's always better
Seasons, reasons they don't matter
So don't hold back
See how many people in this world
So needful in this world
So let all the children know
Everywhere that they go
Their whole life long
Let them know love




Monday, May 12, 2003

the writer's prolific when inspired.
a downer. the inspiration churned from expiration. then desperation.

Sunday, May 11, 2003

you are my oxygen. my tower of strength. with your demise, it seems all bones shattered. the crumbled's really all crumbled. worlds alittle mumbled. i move muddled, disorientated, i fumble, i fall, and many fear, will never stand again. i tell myself, that i shall continue standing. they tell me, that you want the best for me. i bottle the truth up, i down a four, i drink a slab. and all it amounts to, a temporary dementiated me. your memories still within.

i know i shouldnt question. but i need to let you know, i am empty without. empty without you. the strength to carry on, seems to have been gone with you. i am hopelessly searching for someone to fill your shoes. the climb is steep, the road is long, from where i stand. my pillar of strength, has gone missing. many tell me, to accept the reality, and i am, i just need more time to chew on the indigestable reality.

i wasnt putting up a front. i wasnt afraid when i passed the gates. but i shattered when i think of you. its hard to fathom, why cant i swallow a simple part of life. death. there are more than meets the eye. there is hidden in the jar of tears. words i have to keep to myself. keep mum. and these tears turn to bright red blood. i thought a new chapter will be written, with your demise, but i stay crippled, towards the end. my pen ran dry, my story continues, written in blood, oozing from my heart.

when will i see you again. you have been a legend. my oxygen. my all. i dont want to go somewhere, when i know that you are not there. many miles from home, but my heart's with you. i miss you heaps. heaps an understatement. its hard for anyone to fit those worn out shoes of yours. love you, always, miss you, still, desire your presence-my nana.

Monday, May 05, 2003

looking at my planner
amidst those carefully sketched
etched out scribbles
are so many things i fail to register
fail to anticipate.
hate to see eventuate.
but it did. was it merely about waiting?
if it was, why then, am i still on ground zero.

been with me for 22 years. been with me the closest. the voice i hear. the actions i mimic. the life i lead. all are shadow plays of hers. i stage a play, i tell lies, i think astray, i wander from the fragilities of life. i shun the actual, i swallow the dreams. the dream of her still talking, ever sharing, still living, ever listening, all i write, will serve as regrets etched out in my heart.

she couldnt wait any longer
couldnt wait for my smile to return
couldnt wait for my presence
her arms yielded for freedom
freedom from the bondages of life
in a certain sense
i should be joyful
should be in escalation
was she prepared like him i ask
was she knowing like him i ask
why couldnt she just waited
why didnt i weigh the consequences
what do they mean by mourning
i am torn between laughter and anguish
though i am drowning in a pool of tears now.
loving memory of my nana.

Saturday, May 03, 2003


dear one,
Part of me is the prodigal
Part of me is the other brother
But I think the heart of me
Is really somewhere between them
Some days I'm running wild
Some days we're reconciled
But I wonder all the while
Why You put up with me, when
I wrestle most days,To find ways to do as I please
I was born with a wayward heart
Still I live with a restless spirit
My soul is so well worn
You'd think I'd have arrived by now
I'm caught in the trappings of
My search for lasting love
I've made mistakes enough
To last me a lifetime
I still slip, I still fall
But I'll always run back to You
i am sorry, calling only when needing.