i have been overwhelmed with work.
but @ 0754am, unidentified train station
i saw someone bearing a stark resemblance to a certain someones
that fell into the i wished i never met category
and i just had to pen this down

"there are a handful of homosapiens we all wished we never met
never knew. never gave. never went that extra mile for.
for with that mile. for that increased in gradient.
we fell. with acceleration.
we endured. relentlessly self pity.
we blamed ourselves. for being blinded.
by the fake glow.
that very fake glow that blinded my eyes.
that fake glow i used to call, your aura."

.cest la vie.
no better lesson, than literally falling.
and trying to get the f**k up.
thanks c.

sometimes sorry just arent enough.
i used to be bullied, by a younger but taller cousin. his punches were fiery and inflicted more pains than a simple sorry could soothe. looking back at those childhood days, i realised maybe sorry still isnt enough for the grown ups.

i had a great group of friends.
notice the use of past tense. straddled between two continents, didnt foil the relations. changes came when she arrived. maybe, my actions or lack of action triggered the break of the bond. i said sorry, and as sure as the reciprocrating rules work, i lost a good friend. which inevitably, made me lose the entire clique.

that was 4 years ago, but i saw her name today, and i am glad she's graduating. and, in as naked as the truth could be, i still havent gotten any idea what triggered the bad blood. with no pretensions and with all sincerity, i would have loved to attend your graduation, to buy you flowers, to give my good pal a hug. yes, i hear the voice in my head, churning, "we are merely acquaintances". Happy Graduation anyhow.

we draw analogies to everything.
laden with anticipations to be that certain something, someone, somewhere
i want to be in iraq for a day
i want to be a taliban for 4 hrs
i want to be a muslim radical for 2hrs
bush for 30mins, ashcroft for 20mins, cheney for 5
do their heart skip a beat,
do they breathe orally
do they read or do they recite

our love for temporary remedies
exemplified by the white man who steps on the platform
empty promises
excruciated by the cries for freedom
by the small people we dont see

you said i had big dreams.
dreams too big. dreams so big.
they get busted by Reality.
i cant do politcs.
i cant do policies.
but i have some decency. some humanity.
maybe too much sensitivity.
to the minorities.